It can get very....I did a thorough job last night.
And sometimes, you have to wash the toasters. Not every day though but yes...I notice that it can be quite dirty."
For the first time, I replied (and I think he was quite startled that I retorted. Most of the time, I just said ok..) "I DO CLEAN IT ONCE IN A WHILE."
Yes, with the caps, which translates into a "I am pissed" expression.
If he really did a so-called thorough job, I am not sure why I still see the stain on the table?
Maybe I cock-eye...well, that is why I have glasses.
Like I said, if you can only practise half of what you preach, I will shut up.
Anyhow, today, he was nice enough to put away his own dishes.
The don't-know-how-many-time. Say maybe 3rd time? Since I have been here?
Why bring this up? Because even my friend from Washington said I was stupid to do their dishes.
And the most ironic thing is,
The previous au pair said I was being too calculative.
Huh?
Even for her, it was everyone putting the dishes away! It wasn't me solely. Alone!
And she said I was calculative?!
My friend from Washington: "I really cannot understand how someone from (my country) will come here and put up with all this!"
Come on!
And I didn't dare to tell her...
that is why there were only two of us from my country who ever participated in this program .
And the truth is, I won't recommend any of my friends to join this. Really.
I took these pictures because I was really fed-up.
Imagine having to clear them every single Sat and Sun?
Well, I am calculative.
...
You know, I am very touched by the many who msn-ed me last night.
Thank you.
Thank you for helping me remember why I am me.
...
The truth is, I am not sure how many details I have withheld in the confrontation on Sunday.
And if you were to ask me, what exactly was it that irked me?
I don't know.
Just like there were many unfortunate car incidents tat I encountered, and one that broke their backs, there were many instances.
But of course, I guess the ultimate was during the confrontation on Sunday, when the mum said regarding discipline and shower "Do whatever you can. Take away the TV, the computer, whatever".
Read my earlier entry. She also said "I cannot stand it (her kid's disrepect to me)".
Huh?
And it finally hit me hard. Very hard.
There was never any support with regard to discipline. There never will be.
She was as annoyed as I am but she thinks I have to stand up for myself.
But yet again, I was said (I am not sure if I shared this though) to be too firm and that I have too many rules--the kids cannot cope.
Why am I doing the parenting job? When you guys have clearly not entrusted me with that?
...
Maybe, she wasn't that ready to be a mum after all.
Maybe, that is why the house feels so empty. Because underneath all those toys and fake affection, there never was any love.
Why should there be love?
The truth is, if you think about it, nobody under this roof is related to anyone at all.
Maybe, maybe that is what makes it so hard.
I don't know. And I don't want to find out.
No comments:
Post a Comment