All in a day's work

If you have been intensively following my entries, you would know that I was due for the police station last night.

Yes, can you imagine it--me a law-abiding citizen ending up in a police station?

And it is really like one of those scenes in the Hong Kong drama. A police officer dressed in plain clothes coming out and asking if you are (...your name...) and then leading you behind doors closed to the public.

What happens next???

...

I lost my temper at the young one today.

It was just too much.

I issued her another ultimadeum, and I told her with the coldest and sternest tone:

"THIS IS THE LAST TIME I AM TELLING YOU THIS"

"YOU DO NOT SCREAM MY NAME. YOU DO NOT COMMAND ME TO DO ANYTHING"

"YOU DO NOT WAIL MY NAME. I WILL NOT RESPOND"

"IT IS NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY TO GET DRESSED. I ALREADY TOLD YOU BEFORE, YOU CAN GO TO SCHOOL IN YOUR PYJAMAS IF YOU LIKE"

"DO NOT THROW YOUR TANTRUMS AS YOU WOULD WITH YOUR PARENTS."

"IF YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH TO GET READY FOR SCHOOL, IT IS NOT MY PROBLEM. WE WILL JUST WALK TO SCHOOL. I DON"T CARE IF IT RAINS OR IT SNOWS"

Silence.

She just looked at me in silence.

This outburst is long overdue. I have been having difficulties with her since last Monday. It has been 10 days!

I mean, I know that taking care of other people's kids wasn't going to be easy. Grumble as I may in this blog, I try my best.

I appease the little ones...because the parents expect me to. Because I don't want to engage in any struggle. Because I realize we are culturally different.

Because they are after all, children (although frankly, I would hope that in future, I wouldn't do the same to my own children).

...

The police guy led me into the enclosure of many desks and asked me for my side of the story.

Do you know why you are here?

>>Um, apparently, for leaving the scene of an accident?

What do you mean by 'apparently'?

>>Um, I am sorry. I mean..for leaving...

Yes, I understand what you mean.

So he was in effect a nice guy. At least he knew what I meant!

And as I would have told anyone who asked--

I was reversing--there was a guy behind me waiting impatiently--I made a misjudgement and hit the car--I moved up--and no, I didn't get down immediately--and that was because there was a car reversing out--I drove around but the eye-witness probably presumed I drove away--I checked the car--it was minimal damage (and yes, the police guy was like, yeah, if we had seen this, no, we wouldn't have needed to give you a ticket)--the kid was late so I drove off--but I did return to the scene--I went back with my contact details but the car wasn't there anymore--I am sorry I missed the car.

He explained the whole issue to me.

Hitting something and running away is a crime.

Um, oki.

He said, under such circumstances, I should have called the police and not left.

Um, oki.

He explained that he wouldn't have had to give me a ticket had I called them straight away.

Um, oki.

I did learn the lesson.

I mean, I was prepared to pay a lot of money (I hadn't the least idea how much it would cost but my host dad had said that this was a severe offence).

I was prepared to go home already. Home, as in home. Not the place I live in right now, but home.

Anyhow, what he finally told me was music to my ears.

I am not going to give you a ticket.

Huh?

He repeated.

I went "huh" again. This time, with a stunned look on my face.

And he repeated again.

So I was even more horrified.

>>Does that mean you are going to give me more charges?

I mean, that sounded like the only possible way that could have saved me from a ticket. And if that were really the case, I can only shake my head in dismay!

And he said that wasn't the case too.

The fact that I went back to the scene means that I wasn't a criminal.

Of course, frankly, if he had been more particular, he could have dismissed it as a mere excuse.

But then the thing is, I really did go back...because that day I was cooking meatloaf, and my meatloaf ended up charred because of the time delay.

That day, I also picked up the kid late from her dance class because I was looking for the car at the carpark.

...

Like I say, grumble as I may, I do my best still.

I keep telling myself to be open to the new experiences, and that I would need to forget the old so that the new can live.

I am not sure though if I find that difficult because my expectations are too high, or that my experience is just too unbearable.

The truth is, sometimes, I do feel that my rightful dignity is all gone.

Am I exaggerating? I don't know. I guess subjectively, it is difficult to judge emotions like that, isn't it?

Whatever it is, I continue to be thankful.

How else would I learn to handle difficult children?

When else will I get to be interrogated in a police station?

Life may not be great, but it is the best it can be right now.

And I am glad about that.