A passionate life...if I put my faith to it.

I like the article in Mind Your Body which was a reflection by a 45 year-old freelance writer. He talked about the shortness of life.


I like his essay a lot. I kind of agree with him. Or rather, with the Roman philosopher which inspired him to write the article.


Most of the time, we tend to complain time is not enough. We say, life is too short.


But the fact is, most of the time, we haven't been living it properly. We didn't live a life; we merely pass time.


Think about it: (it is a very long article)
http://www.forumromanum.org/literature/seneca_younger/brev_e.html


...

Y commented a few days back that she like the way I live my life passionately.

Well, I am not exactly sure if I am living passionately. I try to, I guess, but I do think it can be better.

Anyhow, I returned from my trip on Tuesday night, but formally returned to work only on Thursday.

It is Friday today, so effectively, I only worked two days this week. So, yes, it has been a short week.


My trip was fabulous. It was a pity that it was so short.


The itinerary stated 4 days, but effectively, it was only a 2 day event. We spent such a long time on the train! It took...around 8 hours? We left feeling that we should have used it as a mid-point, and travel to Redang or Kuala Lumpur instead.


And while there is no doubt about the authenticity of the train ride (since we get to peep into people's backyards and cut across beautiful breath-taking plantations), the gruelling numbness of the butt is just too much to take.


But I wouldn't mind taking the train again though provided, either it is bound for Johor Bahru or it is an overnight train.


...


The trip has left me very inspired. Very very inspired, in fact.


You see. I am an authentic city-dweller. I like sports but I hate the sun because I am scared of freckles.


I hate outdoors because I dislike being sticky because I see all the dust specks sticking to me to emerge as black moles...and not to mention the potential pimples that may pop up.


Yes, I am vain somewhat. So frankly, I wouldn't really opt for outdoor activities too enthusiastically. This time, the trip occurred purely out of boredom.


I had gone with R: I was bored with the things we were doing together in Singapore. I had thought we could do something different...so when the notice came out, I signed up.


The fact is, I like trekking. I remember enjoying it very much when I was in Tioman. I remember I had wanted to do it again. I also remember the times a few of us trekked in Singapore and how I had enjoyed the flora and fauna.


But this trip was just different.


...


The activities were really interesting. In a nutshell, we visited the Orang Asli (the Baqet tribe), played with water in Lata Berkoh, trekked up Teresek Hill and explored Gua Telingga. We even had a night trek in the forest behind the resort.


Amidst the fact that it was humid and hot, I enjoyed myself. I thought I learnt a lot!


I learnt about why the Orang Asli leave the deceased on tree tops and why they moved to other plots of land (they are nomadic by nature). I also learnt about new 'wildlife' creatures like the fire centipede (because its legs are all red and its body is outlined red too), sweat bees, tree snake, toy-looking grasshopper, beetle-looking cockroach.


Most importantly, I was reminded about being "in the moment", something which I had kind of forgotten.


Amid each step I take as I climb up Teresek Hill, I had to be in the moment. It was not about looking forward to the cave or the summit. It was not about the night before. It was now (then). It was the now that will make that one step, should I fall or stand, should I be one step closer or remain.


That feeling is...real.


It was that very same feeling in the cave.


I had remembered distinctly that I had thought of turning back as I started out.

The cave entrance was puny, barely enough for a cat. And I was just stunned that I was going through it! It was dark, wet and soggy inside. I felt miserable.

And I so wanted to turn back! It was just too small, too uncomfortable...too suffocating...too...claustrophic for me. But, because I was in the middle, there was no way I could turn back. I just had to continue.

So, despite not being too certain if I will make it to the end (I suppose everyone can make it but remember my arch was still recovering), I just had to continue. And so I went.


Across puddles of water. Into little drains. Past skinny slits. Under jaded edges. Some parts, I slided down with my butt and my hands. Other parts, I squeezed through laterally.


There was one portion of the cave that is just so prominent: The front part was a big rock and all left was a small hole, half of it was covered by water.


It had looked like a dead end to me. I was almost certain this was the end of the cave, that we had to turn back.


But when the guide told us to follow him and he disappeared practically behind the rock, I was like...OMG...

Yes, we had to duck-walk under the rock across the water to the other side quite literally.

As much as I tried, I couldn't stretch out my legs long enough and my shoes got wet. No choice, I had to get going. Continue..

I emerged. On the other side of the rock.

Towards the end, I got a bump on my head because I had missed the edge and had jutted my head out unknowingly, but my face was stil lit up with a smile.

That cave to me, wasn't easy at all, especially that one threatening rock.

But...the fact that I emerged (with the help of other people on the team--thanks!), I realize one thing:

If I could get past that cave, I don't think there is nothing in life that I can't get past.

Of course, it may not be a sole effort. Of course, we may need other people. But there is really nothing that will be a stumbling block.

As long as you believe.

As long as you put your faith to it.