If you ask me...

I had the privilege of sitting in N's car last night.

I haven't had much contact with N previously. I do like her as a person. She looks very pleasant, intelligent and she always has all these interesting funny sharings about her experiences with God. But it is just that, she always gave me an impression she doesn't really want to talk to me (maybe it is not me; maybe it is to everyone) so I don't usually dare to take the initiative.

Last night, I learnt that we actually stayed in the same area, which is quite rare! So she offered me a ride and I took the offer.

We had a good chat on the way back.

She asked if I were a teacher...she said I have the teacher face.

I don't know but everyone seems to like to say that. And I really don't know if there is really a characteristic 'teacher face'. I would love to think of it as the intelligent face. (All my teacher friends must be smiling.)

I had shared that I really love writing and I would hope to continue writing as a job/career if I could.

Yes, I really like writing.

She asked me whyI didn't try to be a journalist.

Well, I am not sure if I told you. Before I headed to the university, I tried to apply for a scholarship with the news agency. I went for a writing test... Since then, I haven't dared to imagine having writing as a career anymore.

I do love to write...I don't know if I love it as much as the journalists, but I would think I probably don't write as well.

Whatever.

If you ask me what do I really want to do with my life, frankly, I am clueless.

It is not because I don't think hard enough. I think it is because I think too hard.

Maybe I should just go with the flow, like what Father D did.

I remember his sharing about how there were no revelations from God, no inspiration from scripture, no dreams to prophesize his future, contrary to what we believe.

It was just a stirring of the heart towards a certain way of life, towards a certain sect, to pursue a certain lifestyle.

Stirring of the heart.

So now, if you ask me what do I want to do with my life really, I still have no answer.

But I know two things:

1) I want to be really good in my languages. So I will really concentrate on increasing my profiency in Japanese and Spanish. I want to venture into English-Chinese translation if the opportunity is available (if not, I will pass it).

2) I really want to continue writing, in one way or another. I want to write essays that can be published in newspapers, reflections that will get people thinking.

I think that is enough for now.

And you'd probably realized, I have decided too, not to forever be a Jack of all trades and a Master of none.