No elation. Just fuzzy thoughts.

I don't understand why people kept asking if I felt elated.

When questioned on why I should feel elated, the response would be "Cos you are clearing your things/leaving"...

So?

So? Is that the reason to be elated?

Is that a reason to be elated?

...

Tomorrow is officially my last day. But since I am clearing my leave, so yesterday was unofficially my last day.

How do I feel?

No no, certainly not elation.

I think elation is a strong word, mind you. I don't remember ever feeling elated.

Maybe a sense of relief.

Yes, that is it.

Yes, it is that simple!

...

R and I went to the last Swing Fling of the year last night.

On the way there, I can't help wondering why I am not elated.

Is there something wrong with me?

Maybe...it is because I have been preparing for this day.

Somehow. Psychologically.

So when it really happens, the whole effect is mused.

There are no extreme sentiments. It is all just another day.

Or maybe, it is because, really, I don't hate the place.

In fact, there is nothing to hate at all.

Yes, my colleagues and I are in a different world and I have got nobody to share my piece.

Yes, the students can so demanding that I feel like pulling all their hair out.

Yes, the management does suck a bit in fairness.

But then, hey! Are these not part of any job?

The weird thing is, everyone keeps thinking that I must be happier in my new job. Even when I haven't even started!

Why would they know even before I do?

...

I am going to Ipoh for a few days.

As I think about it, I kind of feel it is quite silly. Had I realized I had fourteen days, I would have planned a trip to Sri Lanka! Or even New Zealand!

Oh well, never mind. Some things, it is hard to forecast.

...

It has been a real hard week to pass so I am kind of glad today is Friday.

Although yes, there are turmoils tumbling waiting to be settled.

I am tired. In some ways. And yes, I do look forward to a break.

And perhaps, I really shouldn't dwell on the things that look seemingly impossible to solve.

I want to think about next year.

I want to have a better next year.

I am worried about the job scope, but I am sure I will survive.

I am worried I may get fatter due to a lack of exercise, but I am sure something will work out.

I am worried that next year may turn out to be more sucky...but I am sure God will lead me through.

I am worried about many things,

but I am sure God will lead me there.