The Approaching of Advent means

A new beginning.

Yes, the Advent Season means a new beginning. In all senses of the word.

...

I am feeling better in some ways, but not so in other ways. To a certain extent, maybe it is because I realize that there is really nothing much I can do except moving on. Yes, it is a necessary truth--moving on.

I came across Gerald's reply to my email and I am not sure why it invoked more feelings of weirdness? Maybe...maybe really, that world is too far past mine and I am already disjointed from the whole facade of JC-friendships. Somehow? Maybe? ...I don't know.

The truth is, I am trying to tackle some doubts and insecurities about my future. The past week has been exciting. I met up with the Salsa gang on Tuesday and danced a couple of songs, learnt that Bennon and Cecilia are getting married and the gang is hoping to do Rueda at their wedding.
Then on Wednesday, I visited L who is now on maternity leave. She is waiting for her baby (hopefully she would have popped by now) whom she will name Emma. How nice to visit old friends. I had missed her wedding when I was in the U.S. last year and only now had I got the chance to meet up with her and catch up. Her place is wonderful...a 4-room place in Commonwealth. As my last day approaches, my work is clearing up as I am slowly handing bits and pieces of my portfolio to my colleagues. Many people are happy for me--they feel that my new place is definitely better...but I am not sure. I really don't know...

And then next Sunday is the wedding reception of another University friend and the Sunday after that is my company's annual dinner. The Sunday after that Sunday is when I will be in Malaysia for a short trip. Something I have been looking forward to, yes.

And while I think the world is almost perfect, why do I still feel empty?

Yes. I feel empty.

Yes, it is the very same feeling people get that feeling when they read my blog or when they talk to me. Well, it is a true feeling. So, you are perfectly right.

It is like, as I tackle news of that Z will be in Japan for three years (instead of two) and N is happy in Washington, I am left wondering about what is left in my world.

...

Turns out that I am connected to the victim of the Mumbai Attack in some ways: she was a fellow parishoner.

It is weird: the world is so small yet so big.

So small that everyone is connected: my JC school mate is R's buddies; my subject is my colleague's best friend.

But then it is so big: I am no longer part of the world of friends with whom I used to be so close to.

Irony.

Yes it is.

But then Advent is a new beginning. So really, I shouldn't brood over these anymore.

Their world has long gone past mine. We have lost the time.

And that, can never be retrieved.