Nitty gritty things.

Surprises do happen from time to time.

Like yesterday.

It came as a surprise that she should say what she said to me, considering the relationship we had.

But well...still, it was a good surprise.

...

I told her about the fact that 1) the older kid tried to kick me 2) the older kid threw a pencil and spat (I didn't write about the incident...but I think that description is pretty apt. Anyway, in gist, her dad said she was showing contempt for me. Note *CONTEMPT* wow! so scary)

And she was appalled.

Oops..let me also comment that the dad told me that I shouldn't be running to him everytime she does something outrageous. Because then, the kid will realise that I am feeling that I don't have control of the situation.

Um, oki..I didn't quite know how to handle that.

So anyway, I know I have used a lot of pronouns. You can just try to muster your way around with the characters. Sorry...I am trying to be less specific.

Anyhow, she was appalled.

And she said this, which made me go "wha!"

"Do you think you want to change to another family???"

Wha!

"I feel so bad. Because I was the one who kind of pulled you into this family"

"Sorry. I didn't know you will have so many problems with this family"

Wha!

Now, that may be nice to hear...because I know for sure the problem is NOT me. (I have been wondering if I were the one with the problem, you see) but it also means another thing if you consider from another perspective.

Maybe she knew more things than I think she knew.

Maybe she kept more things from me than I think she did.

Oh well.

...

I have been wondering...what if one day, my blog was 'discovered'?

Really, I don't know.

But the thing is, I speak the truth. Feelings from the bottom of my heart.

I do feel powerless. I do feel incapable. And what have you as parents been able to assist?

Taking away little privileges is like...killing one ant when you have an ant nest. What do you do with the other ants??

And if the finger comes back to me that I haven't been communicating enough, then can I ask, how have you responded to my queries?

Before you point that one finger at the person, look hard at the three staring in your face.

I am convinced if you can lead by example. Like I say, I will willingly clean up the table each night if you can do it yourselves over the weekend.

But if you can't after you have made a mess out of it every Sunday night, you don't garner any respect from me at all.

I will still do it of course. I am only an employee.

But you can't blame me if you don't get my respect.