More alone than ever

I don't quite know how to start this entry.

Well, the title probably sums it up. I feel alone.

I mean, I know this feeling is absolutely natural. I am in fact, alone. I hadn't come with any friends. Well, that is in my nature, I guess. I hate waiting for things to happen. I hate being in the backseat waiting for the driver to chart my future.

Other times, it can help, but sometimes, it may not be a good thing.

...

The parents and I had another discussion last night.

I didn't initiate it, ok. I just asked the mum if she wanted me to be a caretaker or a disciplinarian.

That was it.

I asked it because the girl had grabbed my hand in anger when I was waking her up yesterday morning.

By the way, if you have any good suggestions as to how I can wake kids up (no alarm clocks please; if it worked I wouldn't have to resort to this and almost got my hand nabbed and thankfully not broken), please leave me a comment.

She couldn't give me a clear answer. She said she had to ask the dad.

I wanted to laugh. Of course, I didn't.

And so after dinner, they sat me down in the study and we talked.

There were a few awkward moments. For example, when I was telling him that he gave too much trust to his kid, and she had misplaced his trust, he gave me that face again.

That same expression he gave me when I offered to find a padlock to the pantry.

That kind of skeptical "What-do-you-think-you-know" expression that I just hate.

And when I said he need to discipline his kid more, the same expression cropped up again.

He said something about picking your battles (I am not sure if he meant it at me). He said, "we can't expect these kids to be like clay".

Well, I never expected your kids to be like clay.

I never once expected to mould them.

Look, your darling daughter clearly has a weight problem. She snacks too much.

And you know what the mum did? She gave me a list of foods I MUST cook.

Ironically, it has been the type of diet I have been following all this time.

Should I laugh, or should I wail?

And your darling clearly has an attitude problem. She respects neither you nor your wife.

So when I just politely suggest that he may want to look into discipline, he raises his eyebrows with this skeptism that makes me want to shake my head.

I guess I was too nosey. My dad said so, in fact.

Which is why, I was thinking...why should I bother with discipline?

But but but, he then said,

I want her to respect you. If you are just doing childcare, how is she going to learn to respect you?

I am not sure if he ever realize that discipline works with me only when the parents work with me?

If you are always going to send them to bed at 11pm (an earlier meeting saw us agreeing to tuck them into bed at 10pm), then they are always going to have problems waking up. Then every morning, I will have to fear for my arms.

Your wife was the one who suggested locking the pantry room up and we all agreed that that will hinder her snacking. You haven't done anything so far (and I seriously don't think he will do anything).

She tried to kick me. She threw a pencil at me. She grabbed my hand and almost broke it. You said you can't possibly hit her with the strap for every single wrong she did. You said that I should start small but you also said that you wouldn't hesitate to punish her if she had done something so disrespectful. Then, you tell me you wonder how childcare from discipline should be separated.

Am I asking too much? Am I complaining too much?

And I told them as a matter-of-fact...for the first time, I was considering a rematch.

The truth is, I don't know if it is a good idea. I can get a better family, or I can get a worse one.

Well, the thing is, I kind of not want to go. I don't love it here. I don't love the kids. I don't love the parents either.

But I am doing ok.

You know what I mean?

I think all this is happening because I need to learn how to live (and I mean, literally, live) with difficult people and let's just say that I am almost certain God will give me someone else that is cranky if I opt for a rematch.

But I am thinking...is this worth it?

Is all this worth it?

I don't feel the least happy, to be honest. I am not in the best of moods.

I feel defeated and disappointed but I am not sure if a change will do me good.

And it is ironic because the parents were telling me....

You should be having fun! You shouldn't feel so miserable. You volunteered for this!

I know that. I do.

You shouldn't be living in fear and depression and misery and worry.

Maybe you want to talk to the other au pairs about it?

Maybe it is a cultural difference?

I think his implicit meaning was, I think this is typical of American kids. You have to rough up to
fit in.

Maybe you could try a few stuff to win the kids' favor.
(And he gave me some suggestions.)

Um...I guess the question I am asking myself is, should I be trying so hard for respect, something that is so basic?

And the dad also added,

I was just telling (my wife), maybe this was just not a good match.

And I wonder too.

They told me if I was considering rematch, please go ahead, although they said that they will feel bad should I end up with a bad family.

I was told that that was sales talk. Really? That would really break my heart.

...

I don't have a clear stand, to be honest.

If you ask me, I very much want to go. But like I say, I am hesitant because I want to finish up the few things I have started.

On the top of my list, RCIA.

Am I selfish?

Yeah, if you say so.

Whatever it is, it is just me here alone.

Facing them. Facing her.

All alone.

One day at a time

Fall has started.

Finally. Officially. Inevitably. Whichever adverb you deem best. For me, it is 'inevitable' because even Fall is a cold time for me, and I just cannot imagine how bad winter will be.

Last night, I had to sleep with the heater on. We will see what I can do when Winter comes.

...

There was one time I overheard two girls saying

"Before you know it, summer will be here".

Really?

I don't know. They always say you can really feel time ticking away in a temperate place. The seasons come and go. The environment changes. The trees shed their leaves before flowers start blooming.

The changes help you keep track of time.

Actually, if you were to think about it, it is true. Time is ticking every moment and life becomes relatively easier when you take one day at a time.

Please do not get the wrong impression I am waiting for time to pass. I mean, that statement is true to a certain extent, because I am stuck on an Island (but then, Singapore is an Island too...) and I need the car to go everywhere.

...

Today is the first day the older kid is going for after-school.

I am not sure if that is a good or a bad thing. To some extent it is, because then I will see less of her and we will have less power struggles.

To another extent, that vacant time frame may be enough a temptation for me to stick it through another year (although I cannot imagine...).

But you know what?

I think I should just live life as it is right now and quit thinking about the future.

I mean, the present is all I have got. Today is all that I have right now.

Live today as it is. One day at a time.

And yay! It is the weekend once again! Tomorrow! Something to look forward to...but still, I have to live today first.

With thanksgiving.

Nitty gritty things.

Surprises do happen from time to time.

Like yesterday.

It came as a surprise that she should say what she said to me, considering the relationship we had.

But well...still, it was a good surprise.

...

I told her about the fact that 1) the older kid tried to kick me 2) the older kid threw a pencil and spat (I didn't write about the incident...but I think that description is pretty apt. Anyway, in gist, her dad said she was showing contempt for me. Note *CONTEMPT* wow! so scary)

And she was appalled.

Oops..let me also comment that the dad told me that I shouldn't be running to him everytime she does something outrageous. Because then, the kid will realise that I am feeling that I don't have control of the situation.

Um, oki..I didn't quite know how to handle that.

So anyway, I know I have used a lot of pronouns. You can just try to muster your way around with the characters. Sorry...I am trying to be less specific.

Anyhow, she was appalled.

And she said this, which made me go "wha!"

"Do you think you want to change to another family???"

Wha!

"I feel so bad. Because I was the one who kind of pulled you into this family"

"Sorry. I didn't know you will have so many problems with this family"

Wha!

Now, that may be nice to hear...because I know for sure the problem is NOT me. (I have been wondering if I were the one with the problem, you see) but it also means another thing if you consider from another perspective.

Maybe she knew more things than I think she knew.

Maybe she kept more things from me than I think she did.

Oh well.

...

I have been wondering...what if one day, my blog was 'discovered'?

Really, I don't know.

But the thing is, I speak the truth. Feelings from the bottom of my heart.

I do feel powerless. I do feel incapable. And what have you as parents been able to assist?

Taking away little privileges is like...killing one ant when you have an ant nest. What do you do with the other ants??

And if the finger comes back to me that I haven't been communicating enough, then can I ask, how have you responded to my queries?

Before you point that one finger at the person, look hard at the three staring in your face.

I am convinced if you can lead by example. Like I say, I will willingly clean up the table each night if you can do it yourselves over the weekend.

But if you can't after you have made a mess out of it every Sunday night, you don't garner any respect from me at all.

I will still do it of course. I am only an employee.

But you can't blame me if you don't get my respect.

All I needed as an answer

I slept like a baby last night.

I came home after my RCIA class, washed up, and prepared for bed.

I was feeling lethargic, not physically though, but inside.

It was a good RCIA session though. We learnt about fervent and persistent prayer (with regard to the Gospel of the upcoming week); we also learnt about the Bible.

But that wasn't what led to my lethargy. Not an inch.

In fact, I kind of feel, had I not gone for class, maybe my spinning headache would be worse, much worse.

...

I wasn't really physically tired, but I didn't have trouble falling asleep.

As a matter of fact, it was one of those moments in which a fleeting thought was that, if God could just get me out of this discomfort forever.

But nah, like I said, it was "fleeting".

...

I had cried so hard in the afternoon that my head hurt. That is why.

And why did I cry? Good question, very good question.

I have cried on and off a few times since I have got here, but this time round, it was the hardest that I can remember.

It didn't help because I was already feeling very wounded from an earlier conversation.

A revealing but painfully revealing conversation.

So when this episode exploded, my psyche wasn't quite ready for it.

...

She gave me a hard time yesterday.

She got off the bus, refusing to talk to me the whole way home.

She refused even to walk home, stopping on the track many times to read her book.

And then in the end, I decided that I was going to walk faster to get her to follow me. She did, eventually, a house apart.

Then she decided she would sit down on the porch to read her book.

Everything she was doing was delaying her entry back home.

I have already told her she needed to bring the garbage out when she got home. She was supposed to do that before she went to school but she didn't have time, and so she said she would do it after school.

And I also told her, if she could get her homework done in peace and silence, and not disturb her mum who was home, she would get a strike off (she has 2 strikes under her name; one more strike and it means that the TV and computer are out of bounds for 2 days).

Well, so there was reason to delay her entry back home. And she wasn't listening to me because Mum has just returned from a business trip and from what I know, she tends to do that whenever Mum returns.

So she decided that she would sit herself on one of the rocking chairs outside the house and read her book.

I gave her a 7 minute time limit. Then she has to get back home and do her work.

Well, at the end of the 7 minutes, she knows that she will get a strike if she is still not back in. And that was what she did.

I walked to the front door and opened the door and she was pressing the door bell.

The thing is, she could have used the finger pad (there are three doors in the house; one of them is fitted with a finger pad in which entry is allowed via your fingerprint) but she chose the door bell, and she was ringing it incessantly.

When she barged in, she kicked her shoes all over. And ran up to find her mum.

I chased after her, and I ordered her down.

At much resistance, she came down and continued kicking her shoes around the house.

Finally, she kicked it to its final position, and as she returned to her mum's room, she tried to kick me.

She kicked my cap instead.

I would very very very very very very very much like to believe it was due to jest.

I would very very very very very very very much want to believe that she was playing around.

But looking at her body language, it was purely confrontational.

And I don't know how one is supposed to feel. I was sad. I was angry. I was disappointed. I was everything.

What kind of nonsense is this?

I just went back to my room and cried.

A knock on my door came, and I had thought it was her, only to find out it was her mum.

She was just shocked to see me in tears, sobbing so hard. She apologized and apologized.

Why should she be apologizing? Well, on hindsight yeah, she should, because she hadn't trained her kid up well.

And in case you are also scratching your head and wondering why I cry, and thinking that I am making a mountain out of a molehill, then let me ask you this:

If you are a teacher, and a kid in your class wants to kick you, what does it say?

I don't know: Is it my problem, or is it her problem?

Why do I let other people do this to me? Should I be letting other people do this to me?

...

I don't have an answer.

...

I am still feeling hurt from the incident.

The parents spoke to me and reassured me that she is going to be punished severely.

If punishment just means retrieval of privileges like the computer and the TV...then maybe you should just forget it.

*shake head*

...

It is difficult to face her this morning.

For now, it will have to be purely professional. I find it difficult to extend love and warmth to her.

I find it difficult to want to show concern for her.

Until then, I don't care. Anyway, that is her favourite line anyway, which I shall borrow for now.

I have been struggling about the decision to continue on this program or this family.

I don't have an answer for the former yet, but I do know my answer on the latter.

And that is enough for now, I guess.

With thanks to...

Prior to this entry, I planned to upload some pictures. Pictures that I had taken when I went pumpkin picking and when I went to some places of interest.

Nope, you weren't short-sighted to have missed it. I finished my entry but I chickened out.

I guess I wasn't that sure about the consequences of being 'found out'.

The internet is a convenient place and too common a place.

I guess I will upload it finally; you just have to have the patience to wait.

...

I have been going for therapy for two weeks now.

The first week, he fixed my left hip and my sacrum area. The last I went, he fixed my right bone.

Maybe "fixed" isn't that accurate a word because, if any time I am not careful during this period of time, I can push the hip out and spoil it.

How does he fix it?

He will melt the scar tissue with some ointment and heat, and then press (hard) here press there, push in here and there.

And of course, my response is Ouch and Ouch. Everytime without fail.

The last time I went, he pushed so hard that my abdomen hurt. And no, he wasn't punching my stomach. He was pushing in the bones from the back.

Which suggested yes, I really may have some broken bones in my pelvic area. Oh well...

And while I never fail to feel extreme pain during every session, I will continue to visit him.

After all, my options are exhausted already. Why not try it out?

...

This weekend, I started work-study.

Work-study, what exactly is that?

Well, in exchange for free yoga classes, I work.

For every three hours I work, I get two classes free, which means I save like a $36.

I know it is not a lot to you back home, but eh, it is quite significant to me.

When you are on a tight budget, I bet you will know what I mean.

=)

Work-study was quite interesting. I got a last-min request to hand out flyers to a gathering in some famous place.

Dalai lama was there.

Well, let's just say that the crowd was so overwhelming it kind of startled me.

I never knew the influences of religion, to put it factly.

But of course, there were people who tried to take advantage of the situation. Like there was one guy trying to sell his ticket for US $5000.

Oops, I forgot to mention that it was a paid event.

Can you imagine, 5000 for a ticket. Who would buy it!?

I am sure someone must have...well, at least judging from the fanaticism that was so overwhelming, I presume so.

Anyhow, because I went all the way out (I was initially scheduled to do data entry) and up(town) to 'work', I get 3 classes off.

Oh well, not a bad deal: I saw the fanatic side of religion and I earned an extra class--although I got chased away by the security guard (!!!!)

...

And you must be wondering how out of sync my entry is with to my title.

Well...yesterday's homily was on saying thanks.

Have you ever really expressed thanks for the things that happened in your life?

And I mean really.

When was the last time you said a "thank you" so unconsciously because it was just the right thing to do?

When was the last time you really said a "thank you" from the bottom of your heart?

I don't know. I think I fall into the former category, and I am ashamed to admit to that.

But now that I am aware of it, I will change.

The fact is, being able to live and have a life and its experiences are all things to be thankful about.

And I am thankful, really.

I know it is difficult to understand. One moment I was complaining, the next I am saying thanks.

But I do mean it. I do mean it because I realize things could have been much worse but they are not.

I do mean it because I could have be left untreated but I managed to find a doctor who just may be able to help me.

And I do mean it because the very fact that I can type this entry and share my experiences with you online is a so precious a gift that shouldn't be taken for granted.

...

Complaining is always easy.

But if we were to realize that is the best things can possibly be, and that at any moment things could have been worse, maybe maybe we may think twice the next time we complain.

And thanks to you, for always being with me, across the space and time.

I do mean it.

Seeking for the balance

Sometimes, emotions are better articulated when they are confronted right away.

Which is something I should have done, which um, I didn't do so I guess the only right now is to write about the stale emotions and its afterthoughts.

...

Frankly, I am not doing *that* badly here.

Like I said, I have been told that there are worse families and my family is supposedly good already.

I choose to believe that too.

But you see, there are many uncertainties which I am still addressing and insecurities that I cannot overcome.

Like you know, the previous Au Pair will always say things like "I know you think I shouldn't be doing these chores as an Au Pair but I don't mind because you think they may not see it, but they do!"

"They come home so busy and they see it!"

"And you may not think that it is worth it, but it is! I have got my reward."

I am not sure if it is a tangible or untangible one, but I am guessing it is the former.

So I start asking myself, do I bother?

Say, if they will reward me with a cash price/ reward of 2000, will I be impressed?

....

Will you?

...

I can't say anything more except that I will be disgusted.

I am sure you are puzzled with my reaction.

But yes, I will be disgusted. Very utterly disgusted.

I can't say for sure this is the irksome part of the whole unhappiness but it is certainly one of them.

...

Let me ask you this:

If your maid tells you (I have to use 'maid' because that is the easiest to relate to) tells you she has got a bad back pain and you have seen her fall down and then she tells you she has been to the doctor/ masseur and it helped, what is your first question?

Your very first question.

What is it?

...
...
...

I would ask her how she is. I would ask her if she is better.

Would you?

I thought most people would, and should...but like I say, most, which means there are exceptions.

And while you may be the exception and I do not despise you, I would not think that you would be the ideal employer for me.

Get the drift???

...

I have been having the impression that this family is one who uses their wealth to flaunt about pretty much.

Yes, they are wealthy. They have a big house.

Yes, they are rich. Their house has a big garden.

Yes, they have four cars, one of which is a Sports car which is pretty expensive.

Yes, they have high-paying jobs and they can even afford to hire an Au pair.

But there is something which is lacking. I can't identify exactly but it is something that is making my whole stay not so pleasant.

Call it lack of affection. Call it lack of concern. No, those are not exactly the right words.

...

And I also remember what the previous Au Pair always like to say too.

"They have brought me to so many places. It is all worth it already"

Worth it? Hhmmm...

Sorry, but I really do think we share the same consensus about life here if that is her way of judging.

I came here to see NY. I came here to experience life as a New Yorker. And now, all I can do all day is stare at my computer or Tv and listen to Internet Radio, blog or um...check and write emails.

I didn't come here to do that.

I came here to learn dancing in one of the best dance studios in Broadway. I came here to learn Spanish at the Institute of Spanish Instruction. I came here to train with one of the world's best yoga teachers.

I came here to explore the place, to determine if I could stay here for a while and experience the rich culture.

But right now, I feel like a bird trapped in a cage.

And pardon me, I do really feel they ought to hire a maid rather than an Au Pair. Maybe that will do the job.

Having said that, however, I am still determined to finish this one year. Because I really want to finish my RCIA.

For everything else, let's just say, we will keep fingers crossed.

Maybe at the end, I may just be able to find out how my scale work.

Looking for my mustard seed-sized faith

My mood has taken on a roller-coaster ride for the past few days.

I was feeling empowered on Friday, in distraught on Saturday and a little more calm and composed today.

How on earth did this happen, I haven't the least idea.

I only remember snippets of events. I suppose well, memory can be a transient thing.

Friday was a nice and cozy day because I did my laundry and the girls' quilts. I felt so achieved! They were massive quilts!

I don't hate housework at all. Trust me, I don't loathe it.

But when I realize it was more of a fair share of work, I can't say I am the least happy about it.

You see, when I came home from the city yesterday, there were TONS of plates in the sink. There was the pot on the oven. Come on, they packed their dinner. The pot must have been from LUNCH.

What time was it? It was close to 7pm. And the pot was still there.

The next thing I knew, the lady came down and TOLD me (Maybe I wouldn't have been so pissed if she had asked me but no, she didn't ask me; she told me simply) "We are going out. I hope you don't mind the kids."

And they left. Like that.

Huh? What if I mind? It was my day off!

Come on! Give me a break. Is this fair? You didn't even bother to ask if I mind?????????

I don't know, that really added onto the disgruntlement that I was feeling deep down inside.

What other disgruntlement is there, you ask.

Oh well...

You see, I was told that the average American family pays about 1800 a month for a normal Au Pair.

I found it out when I visited the chiropractor yesterday.

Yes, I have misaligned spine and dislocated bones in my pelvis.

How did it happen? Um, when you fall down on the same spot three times, and twice, it had to be some flight of stairs?

Oh well, it is a lot of money to get it treated. But the thing is, nobody could do anything for me when I was back home.

Back in Singapore, nobody has been able to stare at me in the face and promise me they will get me well.

Really, I am not kidding. And that is why I am almost resigned to my fate of occasional weak limbs and feeble feet. And really, I am not joking. You don't hear me whining about the pain because I prefer to be hushed about it. I don't need the whole world to know I am in pain, right?

The truth is, life hasn't been the same since my fall 3 years back. Things have just gotten worst when I had my last fall.

When the guy was telling me about my anatomy problems, I was quite distraughted.

He told me that I can't do exercise for three months and that after that, I shouldn't be doing yoga anymore.

I bet the many of you know how in love with yoga I am, and how I have planned for teachers' training in my stay here.

I kept thinking to myself, why me? Why do I have this complicated problem?

So anyway, it really isn't pleasant for me to be told that I have been exploited. Because, imagine, if I had been on a 2000 salary, I wouldn't need to even think thrice about going through the treatment.

But I do, because I do not garner that fat a pocket. What fills my pocket is probably a fourth of the money.

How much is the session? Each part he 'fixes' costs $60. He fixed my right hip bone and my tailbone yesterday and that was $120. Oh well...

And so, I was already feeling despondent and dejected. Why do I always have issues with money!?

Which is why, when I reached home and only dirty dishes greeted me, I wasn't the least impressed.

Believe me, it has happened a zillion times before already. Which is why I am pissed!

I am not happy doing it because I feel that I am doing more than my share of the dishwashing. They are just cooking, eating and leaving it in the sink when hello! They have a dishwasher!!!!

Anyway...

Like I say, it was a down down down yesterday.

I went to sleep (now, I am sleeping on the floor because the guy said it would be a better cushion for my spine instead of that mattress because God knows how long it has been slept on already) feeling very sad and sorry for myself.

...

And then I woke up with the most amazing transformation.

I decided I was going to be tough. Maybe I didn't decide it; God decided and put that thought in my head.

I thought about many things, about how I want to get well and how I will give the chiropractor a chance (well, I wasn't quite decided because it is really a lot of money).

And I thought about how I will capitalize on the opportunities.

You know, the thing about monetary value is that while it can be the root of all evil, it is also the best method to tag the value of anything. Best method to date, at least.

I must confess that I did once again feel like packing my bag and leaving after the chiropractor's session...but then I realize,

come on! Why should I do that? I must stay here and get my money's worth at least, isn't it?

I have already started on RCIA. I must get through with it.

The family is planning a vacation in Feb. The last I have heard, we are going to Mexico...but just this morning, I heard it is Florida. Whatever it is, I want to go!

I can eat and use as much as I want.

I haven't taken my classes yet. I want to at least take my classes so that I qualify for the completion bonus!

Come on!

And I figured, it is always easy to give up and surrender...but somehow, this is just a test of patience and faith.

Like today's first reading 'For the vision still has its times, presses on to fulfillment, and will not disappoint; if it delays, wait for it, it will surely come, it will not be late'.
Habakkuk; 2:3-4

The question is, do I have the patience?

And I can't exclaim how relevant today's readings are but here is the Gospel for this Sunday:

The Lord replied "If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you would say to the mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea, and it would obey you."
Luke 17: 6-10

Which I must confess, I haven't got faith.

I never had faith that my spine will get better. I never had the faith that things will turn out right in the end.

And so I will muster faith.

It is unfathomable, like a deep hole. We will always have doubts, but that is the thing. It thrives when there is doubt.

Because the more you are doubtful, and the more you begin to pray, you will realize more doors do open.

And that is what I will do from this moment.

I hope you have your faith planted somewhere too.

My canoeing adventure

Au Pairs of Long Island went to the Nissequoque Beach Club for an afternoon of canoeing on Sunday.

It was a lot of fun.

Technically, I think we weren't canoeing. According to some expert whom I spoke to, we were in a kayak.

It doesn't matter.

What matters is 1) I had fun 2) I made new friends 3) I drove on the parkway (similar to a highway) for the first time without too much trouble 4) I got lost on my way home but I found the way finally!

The thing is, I do not know the way to the Park. I had to drive to my counselor's place to hitch a ride to the park.

Which I am glad I did. The directions are really quite complicated.

...

I guess the question that pops into everyone's heads is, how would I rate it?

Well, it was so much fun that I would gladly do it again. Although frankly, it is really a lot of work. The arms especially. And my butt got so sore sitting on the metal. Yikes.

I had anticipated a capsize of the kayak/canoe, but thank god it didn't. I had braced myself for the ultimate worst...which is why I have never ever gone on a kayak/canoe before.

Ha, you must be laughing your heads off.

Well, I do have a lurking fear about water in general but I guess it didn't cross my mind about how rare a capsize is. The thing is, the chances of it happening are so minimal, unless well, yes, you had to run into some massive rock, or when you collide at fast speed head-on with a fellow kayak/canoe.

I realize though, canoeing/kayaking is almost like driving a car, somewhat.

Once you get the hang of it, everything just flows.

The scenery on one part of the River as we were cruising.

Another canoe/kayak with fellow Au Pairs.

There were three of us on the canoe, and none of us has really done it before. I said really because Anais, my new friend had done it once and she was able to at least give us some basic instructions.So yes, it was a big challenge.Nonetheless, I still think we worked very well together. At least the three of us didn't get stranded amidst the lalang-lookalikes submerging on the river. Or got wrecked off at some shore and needed to be rescued.

This is Anais, who is from France. I think she is very pretty. She is so much taller than me! She wants to work as a Special Education teacher. Wow!

This is Henny, who is from Hungary. Um, we ran into some trouble because she was the navigator and she didn't quite know how to judge, but we made it anyway. She is nice, just a little soft-spoken and introverted. She used to be a district nurse back home.

We stopped at this section to have our lunch. It was technically 3/4 of the way already.

This was the last 'obstacle' of the river, which also marked the end of the canoeing. Everyone had to practically ducked and you could hear screams as the paddles get caught amidst the structures. It was quite hilarious.

My new friends. The girls are from another cluster. The third in line is my orientation room mate Hyeyoon. The first two girls speak Spanish and they commented that my Spanish is quite good. I wonder how true that is... oh well. The last girl is Bowh. She is from Thailand.