The paths that don't cross ever

As I looked at the pictures, I realized that it is not true that one will look beautiful during the wedding day.

And I was just thinking to myself, I hope I will not be in such a plight. I do hope that I will be able to look pretty and beautiful on my wedding day.

...

A friend has got married. And I am sorry (ashamed) to say that I didn't think she looked pretty at all.

Is it the make-up? Is it the gown?

Is it her? That she wasn't pretty in the first place?

Or is it me? That I superimposed my perceptions onto her face?

Which is why I declined to leave any comments. I didn't want myself saying any hurtful things.

Well, to sort things out, I checked with my colleague.

She reaffirmed my stand: my friend didn't look pretty in her gown or in the pictures.

I don't know if it is even supposed to happen. Like I said earlier, a bride is supposed to look beautiful.

And so when people start saying things like,

"Oh! You are gorgeous!", "Wow! You look stunning!", "You are beautiful"

when it is not the case, what is more scary?

The person who said it? Or the thoughts that went into the person who said it?

...

At work yesterday, I had a little conflict with someone at work.

I needed to purchase some equipment, which cost about $100. And I had asked for her permission because she was THE person to ask.

But while she told me it would be possible for funding on the one hand, she had told my colleague to tell me to buy it myself.

HUH! BUY IT MYSELF!

I cannot imagine why I should buy it myself when it is the workplace that needs it.

But more importantly, I cannot understand why she must whisper to my colleague to tell me to buy it myself when she could have told me that herself.

And just when I had thought that this was a one-off, I found out that the disruption of my telephone line had something to do with her too.

My boss had said ok to keeping the line; she had told me that the department was unwilling to pay for my line (my boss is her superior).

And she had canceled my line.

And I am now without a telephone line.

...

I think I can accept the fact that there will always be such people around in our lives, and that it is just a matter of how much contact we will have.

But really,

if you are my friend,

then please do tell me if I don't look pretty on my wedding day.

Or even, if it brings you discomfort to mention about my face, then say it in a different but nonetheless fortright way.

Maybe say, "You look radiant" (That just means my face is pink and of course, I would most probably have my blusher on).

Or say, "You look different" (That just means I am different!)

Or just say "Congratulations!"

Yes, I will be a little disheartened that I hadn't looked beautiful, but I will appreciate that sincerity and honesty more than sheer flattery.

I want our paths to cross again.

And that can only be possible if we have complete trust in each other.