Mediocre interactions <-> Topsy Turvy Experiences

I would have loved to share this during Wed's sharing. I think the message would have reached out to more people then.

But I hadn't.

Something inside me stirred. The words didn't come out. I didn't let them come out.

Maybe it was because the majority of sharings were planned and instructed, and mine seemed to be out of place.

Maybe it was because all of them were touching and moving--each of them sharing their own anedotes of the journey, and mine paled in comparison.

Maybe it was because throughout the journey, I have been talking too much too often. It was time for me to listen. To quieten down and listen to what other people were saying.

...

Andy and Linda shared on their journey exploring the faith together.

It was a very earnest account. Lina shared her initial apprehension--how she has struggled on two previous journeys; Andy mentioned his struggles--how he felt he was ready when Lina approached him to journey together.

I echo his sentiments.

For some people, all they may need is one year, and they see it through the whole phase.

For others, they may need, a few years, or a few decades, even.

I can still remember asking myself a few years back as I sat in the pews of OLPS, when I was going to get baptised. There never seemed to be a good time.

But I still finished my journey. Somehow. Even though many times, I had wanted to run away. Even though many times, I had no answers as to why I am doing this.

So whatever it is, it is the Lord who calls. All we have to do, is answer, when we are ready.

Although I don't really know if the Lord calls all the time--waiting for our answers, or does the Lord only call those who are ready.

...

The second formal sharing was by Gerlinda and her sister. That didn't leave me as strong as impression as Jenny's impromptu one.

No, I don't mean to say her sharing is not great. It is excellent, in fact, as she related on how she transformed from a strong Buddhist to what she is today. Even Gerlinda had thought that the sister would give up halfway--but really, you can't help believe that through Him, all things are possible.

As for me, the reason why I felt more connection towards Jenny's sharing is because I tend to gravitate towards heart-wrenching encounters. I am sentimental. I like things that make me cry period.

And I emphasize, it is just me alone.

Jenny shared on her struggles during this journey. The struggles which were all hidden behind her very strong facade.

I couldn't help not tearing up as I listened to her. Her experience(s) touched me deeply.

It is not something I can imagine going through. I don't even think I can handle it had I been in her shoes.

And as I sat reflecting on her sharing, I asked myself which I would prefer--my very mediocre interactions with God or her very topsy-torvy experience.

...

The last formal sharing was by Devin and his god-parent.

Very lively. Very philosophical. Very meaningful.

I especially liked the part, "....and after Saturday, I have eternal life!"

Wow.

You see, they were all great sharings. Which was why, I swallowed up whatever I had initially wanted to say.

...

As baptism was drawing near, I thought of getting presents for the sponsors.

I thought perhaps, food should do the trick. But alas, we were having an Easter celebration.

I thought then some ornament may come in handy. But based on past experiences...eh...they are really not that practical.

I thought a hand-written note could do, albeit small and almost 'value-less.'

But then I realize...

There was never going to be a gift I could match in value for the work that the sponsors had done.

It was effort from the heart. It was time put away. It was...priceless.

There was no way I could find a gift to replace something that I cannot even put a tag to.

(And no, I don't mean presents are a gauge of anything...)

And it seemed to me, the sponsors do what they do--as the other ministries do the same--because they too had inherited a gift that is priceless.

A gift from Christ which no price can be tagged to.

And for us, the neophytes then, the only way we can truly 'repay' is to do what the sponsors do! To spread the word. (Or whichever other Ministry we so fancy)

I guess that is how Love is spread.

That is why Love is spread.

...

And because I can get such little 'inspirations' from God from time to time, I opt for mediocre interactions.