Discovering each day

Every time I resume blogging after a long break, I wonder how many 'followers' are still following.

Well, I must confess I have gotten lazy, hence the long long long 'break'. I used to think I would never succumb to the lazy bug-I remember asking a friend why she doesn't blog anymore and she said she was lazy and I was frowning in disapproval-alas! I too have contracted the deadly disease.

Laziness aside, a lot of it has to do with the fact that I take too long to pen my thoughts.

I deliberate over my words. I want it to be precise and immaculately accurate. That process, henceforth, takes a long time.

And as you would know if you have been following my blog, for the past one year, I was really busy preparing for my wedding.

The fact I can blog now is because, my dear Mr., is away.

Whatever happens to personal space, you say?

Nah, I am really just being lazy. I could have used the night to blog, but I was lazy.

I could have written my thoughts on the way to work and transfer it to the blog whenever I have time, never mind backdated entries, but I was lazy.

But you know what, despite being lazy, I must say this year has been an eventful year.

I have...

(almost) ended my contract, changed two jobs, got married and became a Mrs, gone to Europe and visited many cities within four weeks, moved house, cut down my daily (and settling into weekly) intake of coffee, completed 200 hours of yoga teacher instruction and am in the process of being a qualified yoga teacher, started on a pole dancing class, resumed jazz dance classes, successfully baked delicious marble cakes, lemon cakes and apple cinnamon muffins, and ...

I am still enjoying my process of self-discovery.

I am still raw in my current job, so it is really hard to say if I will stay here for good. I sure hope so! Seriously, I have gotten a bit tired of searching around.

The reality about life is, there is nothing known as a perfect job. There is only something called making the best out of whatever situation there is.

Like where I am now, it is not quite where I would have hope to land up. I was hoping to do something else...

But I was led here by God. And I believe that it will turn out good.

It is the same with my Yoga Teacher's Training. I would have opted to go to Spain, but the course was available, and I decided to fulfill this one aspiration I have been harbouring for a long time.

Life, time, waits for no one.

I will continue looking out for the blessings each day brings.

And marvel at the process of self-discovery each stint brings.

Sunning out

Writing from Krakow, Poland.

The weather has been very unfriendly. Just yesterday, I saw a sign that says 41 deg.

I guess that is the highest of a range. The lower limit you wonder? 35 deg.

Yes, not good at all. In fact, from what I had gathered, this has been the hottest summer the regions have seen.

So much for my vacation!

I have been walking so much under the sun that I have grown slightly (or so, I hope) tanner. My feet are especially of a darker skin tone (because I wear slippers).

Today is the second day I am in Krakow, and I have already done three walking tours. Two yesterday and one today.

So far, I kind of like Poland. The communist history has left me very much intrigued. In fact, just today, I was in a neighbourhood supposed modeled after the communist-socialist ideology.

It was a different experience. We concluded the tour by a meal in a restaurant that used to be popular with communist leaders. That wasn't the highlight though. The highlight was learning about the compromised yet not marginalised role the Church played.

In the morning, I visited the site that used to house the Nazi Concentration Camp. That was a bit too heavy. I find it difficult to imagine the immense number of people killed in the site. I also find it difficult to imagine the humiliation and pain the Poles, Jews, Gypsies and even the Soviet soldiers had to gone through.

I must say this trip has been more of an eye-opener to history than a fun and laughter trip. I was never that good with history but after this trip, I dare say I would have known twice more than I knew.

One more week and I will be going home. Sometimes I do miss home, but it is probably more of my father's food than the place per se.

And frankly, I think I will miss a few places in Europe. I really like Budapest, Olomounc and Krakow. (I don't know about Vienna-that is my next stop but one thing is for sure, my wallet won't like it.) And not to mention a few Hungarian pastries.

But I definitely won't miss one thing about the whole trip:

The sun.

All in an entry

Right now, I am writing from the hostel in the Czech Republic's capital city, Prague. I must say this is one of the better ones we have been to so far. I like the room. It is spacious and comfortable (R said it is because I am claustrophic, hence big rooms appeal to me. Well, maybe.) The only bad thing is that there is no kitchen. There is a kettle though, and I am really thankful for that. For the past two hotels we were at, there was no kettle (and hence, no hot water when I needed it!) Anyhow, we were hoping for a kitchen (as most hostels would have kitchens) because we were hoping to cook sunny-side ups for breakfast! I guess hard-boiled eggs will do just fine.

In contrast, the previous hostel was the worst we have been. We were in Cesky Kumlov, a town south of Prague which is also an UNESCO site. Hostel M*** housed us in the attic and I knocked my head twice in a night because of the slanting roofs. Plus the staff wasn't especially friendly. That is not it! The worst is, the room (and the bathroom!) smelt of sewage. R said it was from the river outside. I don't know-rivers aren't supposed to stink, are they? Well, I guess we can't complain much since we only paid 9E per person, the cheapest so far. Although if you ask me, I will say this experience will make me think twice about a cheap deal-I definitely don't want to risk a concussion over some savings.

We managed to attend Mass for the past weeks that we have been here but apart from one young Hungarian priest who could muster "The body of Christ" in clear English amidst the whole jargon of Hungarian, all other Masses have not been in English. Apparently, English Masses are only for tourists, so for example in Salzburg, there are only two English Masses in the whole month. It is rather amazing though-75% of the population is Catholic in the cities that we have visited and churches can be located as closely as 50m to each other! Just imagine the bells that ring continuously one after another!

Apart for all these happenings, the weather has been weirdly unpredictable. I have always imagined that Summer is just about sunny days! Guess I was wrong. A few of our travel plans were thwarted because of the rain. For example, when we were travelling from Salzburg to Hallstatt, we were told that the railway lines connecting a few stations were closed because of some mudslides and we had to take a bus connector instead. That stalled up all the plans. When we were leaving, the railways were amazingly restored and we didn't even know! (Of course, neither of us spoke or understood German!) So we ended up missing a pre-booked vehicle and arriving at our destination four hours later.

The thing about Eastern Europe, if you ask me, is that it is really very authentic and exciting. I enjoy the thrill of gesturing and muttering bits of Hungarian and Czech (and trying to sound like one) and finding my way around the unfamiliar surroundings. But that in itself can be frustrating sometimes-I think I finally can emphatise with the Amazing Race participants who lost their cool at their teammates.

Quieter moments

This entry was supposed to be completed in the morning. For me, it would definitely be easier to blog an entry in the morning. There is only one computer and it was occupied all the way from afternoon to 1130pm last night. That aside, it seems that the majority of the tourists/travellers to this place tend to like to go clubbing at night (and hence will all still be sleeping at an hour when I am already awake.

But because I was rushing to go to the marketplace, I hadn't been able to blog as usual. We set off for the marketplace and as R would say, that would always be the highlight of my trip. Interestingly, there were many vendors selling mushrooms. All kinds-if you can name it, I bet you will find it.

I am now in Pecs, a smaller town south of Budapest. It is not as busy and definitely not as populated. I can easily say for certain that half of the population on the street are tourists. If Budapest is Kuala Lumpur, then Pecs is like Ipoh.

This time round, R and I have booked a bed instead of a room. The double room here tends to be a bit more expensive and hence a dorm was a better bet. There are altogether three dorms in the hostel, an eight-bedder, a six-bedder and a four-bedder. Of course, such a difference translates into the price eventually, with the cheapest being the eight-bedded dorm.

And now at five in the evening, I am back in my hostel because we have roughly seen what there is to be seen in the town. Amidst the many sights we visited are a couple of religious monuments, which have fortunately or unfortunately, resorted to the commercial realities of the real world. Of course it would be unfair to ask for free entry to these places, but to charge for every single monument? I can't help but feel a bit, yes, cheated, especially when the entrance fee doesn't justify the things I am seeing inside.

We will be leaving for another town tomorrow, a town nearer to the sea. We will be staying in better (defined commercially in terms of prices) accomodation so I am having some expectations. The stay here has been pleasant so far-I haven't had any problems with the shower.

Well, fingers crossed.

Heading off to quieter zones

I think I have more or less adjusted to the 6 hour time difference (slower here) in Europe. I am sleeping more normally, less lethargic in the afternoon and a bit more used to the pace and 'life-style' (if there is one!).

In half a day's time, R and I will be setting off to the quieter town of Pecs (we are right now in the busiest part of Hungary) and spending one and a half days there. I bet the pace will be even slower. There might be nothing much to do (not that we do much now; we merely walk. Alrite, let me rephrase), ok, walk. Well, I guess I take it more as a breather, to compensate for the two hectic days of walking we have done in Budapest.

Yesterday, we had spent the morning in the marketplace near the hostel. There was just SO MUCH selling in there! Strings of bacon. Piles of liver. Batches of vegetables (check out the eggplant, huge!). I think with that alone, I can relocate here.

Plus, the water is free. As in, Hungary has a rich underground store of water. There are fountains and taps (and yes, initially I would have thought the former served a decorative function while the latter is more of a public administrative function) all around the area. I even joked to R once that the tap was for drunkards to wash their face sober after a night. And I was right! The fact is, you can just fill up your bottles with the water and drink it (although it tasted a bit unusual). So far so good-no tummyaches.

We had a Communist Walking Tour in the afternoon, during which the guide had brought us around the more interesting communist-related sights and talked his way through. I thought this was more interesting than the first tour I had. Guess maybe I am more fascinated by the historical aspects of a country than its true geography. As I have mentioned earlier, these tours are free. From what I found out from one of them (there is one speaking guide and two accompanying guides), tour guides even like this have to take courses and pass exams before they are deemed qualified to 'show' Hungary. Each of these guides are rotated, meaning they would need to handle sights-tours, communist tours or the Jewish quarters tour. I would imagine they are a versatile group.

We ended the evening by climbing up to Buda Hill. At the top of the hill stands a lady statue known as the Statue of Liberty. Not quite the same as the American one which holds a torch in the hand, but I would imagine of a similar background. This statue was built by the Russians to celebrate the so-called liberty of the Hungarians (a big contradiction in many senses). Anyhow, the skies here don't turn dark till 9pm (because it is summer) so we wanted to capture the night city scape. It was yes, in retrospect, a night worthwhile because the city looks beautiful. The bad thing was however, the subsequent series of unfortunate events. First, I hadn't brought my windbreaker and I was freezing (we were up on a hill). Then, we kind of lost our way. That made me really terrified and worried. And the last of it all (no wonder, the Chinese like to say, bad things always happen in threes), we were caught in the rain. I chattered the whole way back (I have a fear of cabs because we were warned about them earlier).

The last sight we will visit before we set off to Pecs is the House of Terror. Sounds a bit of a guiness wanna-be place to me but it is actually more of a place of historical value documenting what happened during the world war.

Till the next stop with Internet access (whenever that may be)!

In summary, we took a long walk

It is not 5am now, so yes, I slept better and I am not as snappy.

The second (or third, depending on how you see it) was rather hectic, marked by a day of walking and walking and more walking.

In the morning, we set off to look for a Catholic church so that we could attend Mass. After all, it was Sunday.

It is something that I often do while traveling.

The good thing about traveling with R (amidst other good things, of course..^ ^) is that he will also want to look for a church to attend Mass and to pray. So yes, in a sense, I don't have to worry too much about needing "time-off" to do my own things should I be traveling with another companion.

Anyhow, after a quiet 20min walk, we reached the church at 705am to learn that Mass has just started. The Masses on Sunday were all in Hungarian. The English one was already over.

So we went into the Church. I must imagine it must have seemed rather odd, two Asian faces amidst a scattered lot of Angmohs, obviously not reciting anything (because we don't know Hungarian!).

Frankly speaking, while it was not difficult to follow per se (after all, the Catholic Church is universal-all parts of the Mass are standard), it was difficult to connect. I couldn't finish reciting the Apostles' Creed because halfway, I got drowned among the mutters of the Hungarians. The only syllable that we could resonate with the rest was, obviously, Amen!

We set off for the Free Walking Tours after heading back to the hostel for breakfast. Breakfast is simple-bread, milk, coffee and tea, cereals, orange juice. The variety is not much but I guess it is sufficient.

With the Walking Tours (yes, it is free; I wouldn't have imagined such a venture taking off in Singapore because no one would bother to pay any tips but here, it is different), we explored Buda and Pest and the Castle District, all within four hours. It was a quick overview about the things to take note of, and the things to do while in Budapest.

We subsequently explored a bit of the Castle district and had a gigantic Hungarian dinner. (Please tell me if I have put on weight when I get back; I can take the truth!) I had some trouble walking back because I was still zonked out. Three-quarters of the time, I was lumbering in a slumber with my eyes half open (and my mind half-awake).

Anyhow, if you ever want to come to Budapest, do consider my current hostel. (Note the bold). No, it is not as comfortable as a hotel but it is in a good location. It is central enough for you to walk around and explore reasonably. Be prepared about taking hot showers though. Half the time, you will be frustrated and wonder if you should tell the management about the tap which seems to be faulty.

Summer blues

I would have hoped to blog an entry immediately after the wedding day, but I didn't have the time.

As you would have known, I had switched jobs and the current pace is quite tedious. Ah no, dynamic is the official word. And don't ask me if I like it or not, I think that is still a bit early to say. Although the truth is, the fact that EVERY single week hurts with a "THUMP" on the floor with a reprimand from my big boss can be a bit too hard to stomach and a bit too discouraging.

But anyhow, enough of work (I shall leave that to another entry).

I am in Europe now, on the second official day of my honeymoon.

Instead of opting for chic places like California or Italy, I am now in Budapest, Hungary. A place which I confess, I don't feel quite safe about.

People stare at me and give me angry looks. The money-changer. The people on the street. The other passengers in the train. Well, maybe because I am Asian? There really aren't many Asians in the street.

We are in a relatively quiet residential area served by a reasonable supermarket which doesn't seem to sell fruits that is too fresh.

We did nothing much yesterday except transit planes and entry-exit airports, take airport buses and traverse across metro lines.

And if you are wondering why I don't seem to be writing in a too-excited tone, well, that is because it is 550am but I am already awake (not wide) because the skylight is just too intense.

Geez, yes. How I like summer.

All in a stupor amidst some self-pity

It is my second day at work in the new place. I hit the gym today. Alone.

I hit the gym because I realise there was no culture of eating together. Everyone in the section is too busy. They are either out or away.

That needs to be adjusted to, amidst other things. People are nice and kind, but of course, I miss my colleagues back at the former place. It is rather different. I just hope it is because it is the initial stage so I have to maintain a composure before people start to warm up to me. I don’t know. It just doesn’t feel *that* right. I guess, it is because I am after all, in a new environment, with familiarity only to one person.

Yesterday, the moment I walked into my cubicle, I was nabbed by a colleague who told me she had work for me to do already! (And she spoke in a rather authoritative tone, which didn’t make things better.) She even added that she had clearance from my supervisor already, which was really unnecessary (my assigned buddy had told her not to scare me off on my first day of work).Anyhow, I shall confess that I really don’t have a good feeling about her at all.

I came to work in a slight stupor. A lot of things have happened lately. My mum was hospitalized (again) last Tuesday, when I was having my test-interview. I only got hold of the news at around 4pm. I canceled all plans of meeting my jie-meis and went down to the hospital. Then, she was in a worrying state. She was in a total state of confusion and she had asked us why tubes were on her nose (I think it was meant to assist her breathing). Finally, after a few days, she had more or less regained consciousness of what was happening…and that is when she started getting tyrannical. Apparently, she was not too popular with the nurses around her. Apparently, she ranted at them and called them names and imposed demands.

I wouldn’t know; I wasn’t around to see.

I really don’t know what to think of it. Should I be glad that she is well or sad that she is still so tyrannical?

Anyhow, she has since been discharged. She is resting at home now. There was no better option. We would have preferred her to stay longer in the hospital if you ask me. At least that way, we would be assured that even if she fainted, someone is around.

Ahhhh, I don’t know. Everyone just tells me to stay strong—yes, I need that.
It is really very trying and tiring. Especially when I have to also handle house chores like washing everyone’s load and hanging the clothes up plus folding them…that takes a lot of time. But above all that, I guess I should be thankful that I have always had the opportunity to do house chores. Because otherwise, I would have collapsed.

Just before she was discharged, we got into another argument over who to administer her insulin. She nonchalantly insisted for me to do it before I leave for work in the morning; I thought that was ridiculous! With her “speed of action” and timing, and our clash in temperaments, it is highly unlikely I will ever get to work on time. I really cannot understand her. Rather, I don’t see why I should be putting up with her nonsense. But anyhow, R had his means and managed to convince my brother to help administer the insulin to her.

At that point in time, I can’t help but agree with N that R really made up my inadequacies. The fact is, had it not been for his interference, I would have had to stay the whole day in the hospital and be impatiently and grudgingly administering insulin every morning, waking up possibly much earlier than what I would have anticipated.

It is always easier to wallow in self-pity and cry the hearts out.

But I think it makes more sense to grow stronger with each ordeal and make sure that self-pity doesn’t get the better of us.

As I am writing, I can’t help but exclaim how much I miss my former colleagues.

And instinctively I can already tell you, I won’t be able to make many close friends here.

I hope I am wrong.

Each day a blessing

When she smiled, I can't help but notice she actually did have a nice smile.

I just don't know why she was so stingy with it. Was it because she was afraid it would be exploited, or was it because she was never genuinely ever happy?

...

It has been very trying for the past few days.

Last Wednesday, my mum decided to check herself into the hospital. She hadn't felt very well.

With some effort, she mustered her way to the A & E department, was warded within half a day and was there for three days. I had visited her on Wednesday night.

We were still behaving with the same aloofness towards each other. It was difficult for me to be nice when I know she didn't and wouldn't reciprocate. Once, she had swore at me for not massaging her legs (and I had wondered why she couldn't 1) ask in a nicer manner 2) done it herself). Another time, she was angry at my sarcastic comment to invite the whole world upon her remark to invite the physiotherapist whom she has seen three times. (She insisted that the physiotherapist seemed really keen to come to my wedding.)

Now, at this point in time, she seems to have a failing memory and a frail frame.

As apparent from her struggles to remember if she had taken her diabetic medication.

She had fallen down three times at home. She needs help to walk even a metre and I had bought her a frame just so that at least a support is available for her to hold on to when no one is at home.

But she is even not managing well with the basics of feeding and all. She can't always see the food. She has an acquired taste and rejects a number of stuff.

She has trouble seeing and hearing. That makes it all the more difficult for us to communicate to her, and for her to tell us. More often than not, she responds with an angry grunt about how we are not doing things right.

...

On Saturday, R and I visited L who has a one-year-plus toddler.

It was a visit long overdue because I had in fact planned to visit her after the baby was born (the last time I met her was when the baby was still in the tummy!) but I was rather busy. And can you imagine it--that was like eighteen months back.

Time really flies.

But somehow, the visit kind of made me a little sentimental. Not the visit per se, but maybe the reflections generated with the visit.

The fact is, I am very fearful of turning into my mother. As I would often confide in my colleague P, I am worried that when I am old, I have no friends like my mother.

You see, I never really know what kind of a person my mother was to her friends. I never saw a lot of her friends. She often kept to herself. She beseeched me--when I was growing up--never to trust people. I suppose then, she probably never trusted anyone.

So at this point in time, when I have to find help to assist us to tide over this crisis, I do not have many people to turn to.

Truth be told, the power of friends as a support network really cannot be underestimated.

Which is why, I had msn-ed L and said I cherish our friendship.

I had in fact wanted to text all my dear friends to tell them that: to let them know I really appreciate them for being in my life, and that I hope we stay as friends in years to come.

...

Now, I am at a loss. I really don't quite know what to do.

My mother's younger sister had come in yesterday and is coming in today. But we can't ask her to come forever. This is not a permanent solution.

But, I really don't have a better option now.

I guess I can really live one day at a time. That, in itself is enough a blessing.

Teary goodbyes

Very soon, I will be leaving my current workplace to begin a new adventure (or so I would hope to believe) in another environment.

News have been spreading rather quickly, thanks to the invention known as the 'staff portal'. And it is not that I mind; it is just that half the time, I can't really fathom the true intentions of people who come to probe about my plans.

"You leaving, I heard?" "Where are you going-can I kpo?"

Well, while I wouldn't be quick to snap a loud "CANNOT!" (yes, with that exclamation mark), I don't usually bother telling the truth.

I will say I am taking a break. And use the break to decide what I shall do next.

Put it this way: If I want you to know where I am going, I would have told you that I was leaving.

Which means yes, you wouldn't have to learn through the portal that I was leaving.

Makes sense?

...

It is a pity that my last few days here weren't a breeze. I was bullied, and made a bully despite so.

Initially, I had been tasked with some simple admin duty for a project, but for some unknown reasons, I was roped in to do some report.

In the end, I was chasing people for information accuracy and sources and writing irritated emails. At the very end, I compiled the report, proofread it, edited it and even gave recommendations as the team's representative!

Clearly, I was being exploited, with my immediate supervisor not even aware of the situation. So, when I went in to check with him, and was taken off the project, someone else apparently tried to manipulate the news of my leaving with this into a different tale.

I don't exactly know all the details of the tale; all I know was, there was a big bully and a small bully. The small bully bully cried, and fingers came to me.

I became the bully.

Wow, you said.

My sentiments, exactly,

...

You know, it really doesn't feel that long ago when I stepped into this place and began my first day.

Although frankly, I don't actually remember much of that first day, but life has been great. I like the easy-going life. I like my independence.

I like my free time. I like the carefree-ness. And I love the people.

And so I can say, very quickly, it has been almost one and a half years.

I know I will definitely miss the people here. After all, else, I wouldn't have to think so hard about whether I should leave. I really could have stayed here forever, till retirement, as much as the opportunities allow.

I know for sure I will miss P, who is more like my mother than my mother. I tell her everything, from my wedding preparation details to my fears to my quarrels with people.

I will also miss L, my so-called "twin" (the colleagues call us that because we hang around all the time). She may be much older but I can connect with her in many ways, and it is a relationship that I truly cherish.

I will miss M, my exercise kaki who is very sporty and bubbly, kind of my temperament.

It has been one of the hardest good-byes to say.

And I just hope there will be no teary good-byes on the day I packed my bag and go away.

Shucks-the thought of it makes me sad already.

But life is to be led forward

Today I started the day with a low mood.

What is a low mood?

It is not that I am in a bad mood. I am just feeling a little down, that is all.

...

With the contract likely to end in a while, I am in an active search for jobs.

I have been actively searching since February.

I wouldn't say that it has been fruitful. And I am not sure where to point the finger to.

Do I point it to just after University, when I was deciding on a course selection? Then, shouldn't I have just pressed harder with my wild thoughts intentions (whatever they were) and made sure that I stuck to it?

Or maybe I should have just compromised my ideals?

Wouldn't I have done a different thing, made a different choice, and emerged differently?

Or was I too confused? Too spolit for choice? Too protected? Too self-egoistic?

Do I point it to the point after my first year when I could have just taken the less-than-desired scholarship to go to Australia? Wouldn't I have become a professional?

Do I point it to when I was in University? To the four years when I should have persevered harder and made sure I got a better grade?

Well, life would have been *extremely* different, wouldn't it?

Do I point it to when I decided to give up on science? I would have become a Dr. had I just converted to that.

But I don't know why I say all these. Why do I even bother thinking about it?

...

Like I say, I am feeling a little blue this morning.

The fact is, I did have an offer from a prospective agency. The offer is not excellent but it is nonetheless an offer. The sad thing is, I was advised to foresake my honeymoon plans for the job.

"Since plans are not firmed up yet, why not go another time?"

But why should I do that?

I mean, yes, it is kind advice definitely. For a greenhorn like me who does not have a career mould at all, I should be concerned about building one up.

At all costs?

But at this juncture, I ask myself if I should bother.

It is not like this offer is my dream job. I think I will be enticed by it. I think I will enjoy the challenges. I think I will like the learning experience.

But I wonder if my values fit in with the system-the societal system-at large.

Have you ever wondered: Are there so many "other time"s in our life?

I have learnt one thing for sure: for things I feel certain about, I shouldn't let anything dissuade me.

Anything.

Because at the end of the day, they don't live with the decision I made. I do.

...

Just yesterday, I had gone for a test for another job. I emerged from the room downcast and disappointed.

I didn't think I do a good job. I don't think I will make it.

And this morning, I had received two rejection emails regarding my application for another two posts.

Yes, of course that added to my mood.

As I am writing down, I am wondering if I am competent in anything at all.

And of course, I am still dreaming about how life would have been different had I done a different thing during when and when and when.

But I know that life can only be led forward.

And as of now, that job is in the midst of negotiation. I do know where I stand. I am very clear about it, even though I feel that yes, it is a bit of a pity if I should let it go just because there is a lapse in expectation-plan.

Maybe I should console myself with that this is not God's plan.

Or so I hope.

A Saturday's worth

I need to come in on Sat.

What is the big deal, you say?

Why am I so petty, you ask?

Yea, I am petty.

No, there is no big deal.

The point is, there is nothing wrong in itself--working on Sat. My previous work place required me to work on Saturdays too.

I am pissed because 1) it is not because I can't finish my work that I am coming in; 2) I am doing work which I find is demeaning.

Yes, perspectives change.

Perspectives change because of experience.

And yes I am sure, we may all be in one demeaning position or another. At one point in time.

The difference why we stick to it or we don't?

...Its worth.

But I guess, for me, at this juncture, amidst promises of better remuneration and whatever benefits but no career progression, I must be thankful for this exchange.

I have been praying for signs--should I go or do I stay?

I have made good friends here. And I must confess I will miss them fondly.

But...if you ask me,

coupled with the infringement of intellectual rights with no recognition,

having to slave my brain juices for something not worthwhile in my perspective,

and having to come back on Sat (this would have been a pull factor to stay, but now that it is infringed, where else is there?),

I think my mind is more or less made up.

You know. It is really not about whether I come back on Sat and then giving me a make-up on another weekday.

The fact is, a weekday and Sat, are they really comparable?

...

In your dreams, maybe.