Progress report

Tomorrow marks my third month here. As you can see, I am trying to recollect my thoughts after every passing month. I think it helps to orient myself a little bit better.

To be honest, I have had many thoughts for the past week. I guess they weren't here simply because the rate of change of my thoughts was much faster than what my ten fingers can manage. Or maybe it was my schedule that didn't permit me enough time to blog. Oh well, it doesn't matter. I am here finally and that is what matters, right?

...

The older kid is at home today. She did not go to school because she is feeling sick.

As a matter of fact, this is the season. Of illnesses.

As the weather turns colder with the progress of fall into winter, people are just falling sick. Everywhere.

Three members of the RCIA team have been sick for a while.

Occassionally, I would wake up with a stuffed nose or a runny nose.

Now, this kid (who is supposedly quite strong) is sick. I just hope I will not succumb!

Anyhow, I bet you are eager to know how 'we' are getting along.

The truth is, I still don't love her and I don't think I will ever want to.

She is sloppy. She doesn't flush the toilet after big business. She leaves her clothes lying all over the house. The soap is intentionally spilled all over the place.

She is rude. She screams at her parents. She ignores me when I talk to her.

She is a tyrant. She bosses her sister around and punches her (she does, and I have no idea how to stop that) when she doesn't get her way.

She doesn't like to shower or brushes her teeth. And yes, she stinks.

And I know she is a kid.

People tell me to take it easy. "Come on! I am sure you were like that when you were a kid" is what they always say.

Well, too bad. I wasn't like that at all. You can verify with my parents.

But I guess that aside, the question at the back of my head is, why is the sister doing a much better job?

I am not sure if I told you before, the previous au pair had a pact with the older kid, that she will train the young one up into someone more commending and loveable.

Of course, the au pair won the bet.

I am not interested in betting with her. In contrast, I am not even the least interested in changing her.

You see, I have come to many realizations.

If I can't fight it, then go with it.

If I can't change it, then live with it.

Why should her discipline problems be my problem? Why should I bother?

Who am I to bother?

When I first came, I was full of enthusiasm to change the world. And so I gave in what I could.

Then I realized, I am not super(wo)man. So why bother?

...

The trip to Washington DC really did change my perspective a lot.

We have the same benefits. Weekends are off. We can bring our friends over. The pantry is filled with food. I would say that almost everything is the same.

Well, our hosts are a whole lot different though. The parents understand how to personally put their plates away. The kids do not shout at the parents. N doesn't need to fight with the children over the use of the bathroom.

And I do realize I shouldn't be making comparisons.

So instead, I have decided to adjust my expectations and accept the fact that I am here, really, as a part-time maid.

I clean the stove. And the table.

I feed the cat.

I clean up their vomit.

I take in the mail.

Sometimes, I clear the garbage.

In addition to my usual stipulated chores.

There is no use fussing over it. It doesn't make me any happier or contented. In contrast, I feel all the more frustrated.

...

And there is something I have learnt and really am starting to appreciate:

When the older kid gives me the hell of a time, ignore.

Switch off entirely and don't care at all.

She can scream and shout. She can wrestle and curse. Whatever she wants. Whatever she deems fit.

I don't care...

I am just here for a year, or maybe an additional half a year (hehs, I realize that if I can switch off, I can just stay here a while longer because I still have my unaccomplished agenda!) so why make life difficult for myself?

...

By the way, I will be taking classes during the Spring Semester next year.

It is just one class but the idea of going to school is really kind of freaking me out.

I will be taking Elementary Spanish II. Yeah, in spite of the fact that I have done Spanish for nearly two years!

I will still need to take one more class and I should be doing it during the Summer term.

Last but not least, I am going on a short trip again during the Thanksgiving weekend.

Short trip = two days. Friday and Saturday. I will be back Saturday night just so I can attend mass on Sunday morning.

Philadelphia is my destination this time. And I will be alone.

If I don't blog before that, see you next week! =)