Peace be with you...and you...and you

This entry is long overdue.

I meant to blog after I went for my first yoga class in NYC (which was last last Sunday) but I forgot about it.

Well, then i procrastinated a bit and thought I will write about my half day trip to NYC on the hop-on hop-off bus but I forgot about that as well. That was last Friday.

Then I figured maybe I could blog after my second yoga class, during which I happened to chance across the Farmers' Market. That was on Saturday.

And so it is Tuesday now (it should be Wednesday morning on your side) and I am just feeling tired and too lazy to do anything else.

Finally.

I am playing this CD in the background "natural music for sleep". Um, frankly, I don't quite like it. The first track is giving me a headache and I am starting to wonder if that is the reason why it makes people go to sleep.

Sometimes, certain frequencies of sounds will vibrate at particular wavelengths that tend to stimulate the occurence of different wavelengths, some of which may be predominant of those occuring during the sleep state.

I don't know; it just gives me a headache.

Anyway, I have just returned from a short food-shopping trip at the supermarket nearby. I hadn't really shopped much; I just bought lettuce, beetroots, carrots and apples.

And then I went over to Target and bought a water bottle.

The cluster I just went to is somewhat like our local version of a town center, except that there aren't many small shops. Instead, they have bigger shops, something like NTUC. So if you can imagine, it is like the one in Tampines with IKEA, Courts and Giant. There are just more than three big malls.

...

Almost everyone in the house is falling sick one way or another and that worries me.

Yes, I am worried about getting sick. Very worried in fact.

So for the first time in my 26 years, I slept at 930pm.

Well, and I had to wake up at 620am. Simply because I need to be ready by 715am to wake Grace up and get her day started.

And because I haven't been sleeping much over the weekend, I think that is why I am also falling sick.

Hhmmm...

The season is changing a bit. From hot sizzly summer to windy fall.

The winds are cold cold, for me at least.

Everyone loves the fall winds but I wear a coat at home.

And I kind of think I may want to start on my socks and mittens.

Incredible, isn't it??

...

Last night, I had a dream. I dreamt that it was Chinese New Year and that I had forgotten about the Reunion Dinner.

In the dream, I was outside, and I immediately called home upon remembering (I know it sounds absurd; how can anyone possibly forget? I don't know; I suppose that is why it is only a dream?).

My dad said he had saved a share of food for me. It would be there when I return home.

Any interpretations?

I do have...

Home is the best.

That, I have known but never quite truly felt it until my fall and after I had come here.

You must be laughing your way off: I had to travel across half a globe to know this?

Well, I suppose...some people are just slower to experiences than others, isn't it?

We always spend a lifetime fighting a useless battle at some point in life.

I can't classify exactly what kind of battle I have been fighting. I can just say that, at one point in time or another, the fight becomes questionable and pointless.

Maybe that is just what I am feeling now.

...

I guess many people will wonder how I am coping with my homesickness.

Well, I think it is manageable. I don't feel that homesick actually, except when I suddenly have cravings for my dad's dishes and his cooking.

I do miss my friends back home too, but I am sure they are just as excited as I am in living out this new experience.

So that is really about it.

I am doing ok. I guess the bottomline is, I am contented with whatever I am experiencing right now.

There was a period of dissatisfaction and unhappiness and disgruntlement and even questions about my own decision.

I wasn't sure what I could be here for except to pursue those particular intentions I seek to fulfill.

But then, that alone, that mindset is confining me to the full experience.

While I may no longer travel into and out of the city during weekdays due to time constraint, there were still other things I can do.

I hadn't considered them at all.

Maybe I could go to the library. Maybe I could study Spanish myself. Maybe I could try baking. Maybe I could get started on the book I have been meaning to write. Maybe I can do so many other things instead.

But I hadn't considered them one bit.

And the fact that I hadn't considered these other options, I was reverting to the lifestyle in Singapore.

So why then did I decide to do this? It doesn't make sense if that was what I wanted to do.

If I am already here, why do I want to deprive myself of the experience?

How can I truly experience local life if I continue to remain so closed-mind and so unhappy?

...

Like I say, we all fight pointless battles at one point in life or another.

When we fought that battle, we are always so self-righteous. There is an obsession with our perceptions and our beliefs. Some of which may not even be valid.

And then one day we realize,

Really, everything in life is destined.

Some way or another.

The things you chance on. The people you meet. The places you go. And the timing at which they happened.

You can try as hard as you can to run from it; you are just running away from yourself.

...

Peace be with you, every single day.